This Too Shall Pass

I have to remind myself, we are only here for a little while.

Even though days seem long, weeks drag out, and when it rains it pours, time also flies.

Sometimes I get stuck in a routine and I realize that the month is over just when it begins a new.

I am always thinking of days to come and how full the schedule is and when and where I need to be and how I am going to be in two places at once.

I can't keep up.

Nearing the days until age 37, I can no longer keep an intellectual calendar and I am loosing my noodles trying to manage it all.

But, this too shall pass.

I am half way until retirement. Why that sounds significant and then at the same time, forever away, I don't know. I start to think is this me for the next 15 years? Am I only this career option? Is this what I was meant for? I am no longer in the early ages of life where my options are on the table. Now, the options have been filed away. Locked with a key that is forever lost because let's face it, I have either lost the key, or it was given away for someone else to use.

I know that in my time here on earth, I have the expectation to have a career and work for a living and provide for a family, but does my career define me as a person? Am I more than my job? I know it seems as if I still have half the time to be this individual I have been for 15 years but one day I will look back and think, is this it, does retirement now define me?

Because, it will pass, too.

And how did my children change so fast? What time I lost looking ahead. It is unbelievable how I see these human beings I call my own growing up and becoming their own. Did I miss something along the way. The inches of growth? The stages of childhood? When was the last time I picked my oldest up, when will be the last time I pick up my youngest? I then sit and ponder how God provided these beautiful creations for me to look after for him. How am I doing, God? How long will you allow me to keep them? Oh, my, doesn't the depth of that question sink deep. I can't fathom loosing them. I hope his timeline for our lives is hanging on a long string.

Eventually, we too shall pass.

It takes a lot of living to learn a lot about life. Everyones joy is different and everyones worst can not be compared. I often ponder what lessons in life have taught me. We all tumble and make mistakes, and then sometimes we are what is left behind from someone else's mistake. Either way, the bumps are never made to just be remembered, they are made to remember what we overcame. The rough waters aren't made to be sailed on forever. Eventually the troubles of the world smooth out and all you have in front of you is the open waters ahead. You can't change the path you took, but you can be cautious of the road you continue. Yes, there will be curves, sharp ones...ones that make you move in fear and hold your breathe, but then you will have the moments of joy riding, peacefully, throughout the journey. And sometimes you have those that ride with you. Sometimes you have those you pick up along the way. Not everyone will stay with you on your ride. You will have those that just want to find their own way, or decided you aren't the one they want to tag along with anymore. Some will leave you heartbroken and some will leave you with a bitter sweet feeling. But it's best to not dwell on that. Just feel the comfort of those with you and those that choose to stay. They were meant for your journey. They were meant to be in your life.

And no matter what, it too shall pass.

(This was written a few years ago but never published)